Idle thoughts in the life of an IT Professional that's married with children.

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The Wine Spot

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My Life (by Karen)

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My Life in Paradise
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poopee shmoopee's blog

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My favorite saying:

Shared pain is lessened Shared joy is multiplied

 
Monday, Monday...

Weekends are just NOT long enough!

Today marks 2 weeks on my diet, and I've still only lost 5-6 pounds. One thing though, I can definitely feel my waist is smaller as I'm going to places on my belt I haven't seen before *L*

Went to my brother-in-law's 40th birthday party Saturday night, and he and his wife are both on the Atkins diet. He's lost 40 pounds, and she's lost... get this... 140 pounds! Course, she was really really heavy before, but she looks fantastic! Seems everyone there was on it...
Oh, and I tried one of those "Michelob Ultra" beers... low carb... It should say NO FLAVOR!. Good grief it's awful *blech*
Someone at the party put it aptly "It tastes like the swill when you rinse out the bottle"

I bought a loaf of "low carb" bread by a big-name bakery... and tried a half slice and it's actually excellent! So.... starting tomorrow, I can have one piece of toast for breakfast *YIPPEE!*

Hey, it's supposed to get up to 60 degrees today!! WHOO HOO! Hopefully the last of the snow will melt.

Tomorrow night is my "Martini Madness" class I got for Christmas from my friend Dave and his wife! He and I are going to go and learn to make all kinds of different Martini's! I can't wait, should be a blast!

Well, not much more right now as I'm pressed for time, but here's a joke to start your Monday!

WORDS WOMEN USE
******************************
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not ! faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

posted by Dave at Monday, March 01, 2004