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My favorite saying:

Shared pain is lessened Shared joy is multiplied

 
Post 681
New England Weather, and SPAM

Well, after that 22 inches of snow on Saturday night, Monday and Tuesday it was in the 40's, yesterday and today in the 50's, then tomorrow, a cold front comes in and it'll be in the 20's for highs. Much of the snow is gone, with around 4-5 inches left on the ground.

I had to chuckle at some of the spam in my email this morning. Who comes up with the subject lines?
"bract interfere his powers as prime minister"
"is committing worth leisure"
"abstruse rhode form consenting to return"
"Is drowsey worth canis"
(and my personal favorite) "Martini Disney"

Go figure.....

And now, for a funny:

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8.. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The subst ance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

On to the news:

Man who survived nine heart attacks shovels snow. /\../\../\_____/\../\../\ Make that 10

High school student Paul Kim sends roses to every female student in his class. Look for follow-up article next week, "Paul Kim gets beaten like circus monkey over magnanimous gesture by boyfriends of girls in Class of 2007"

We all knew it would happen:
Hurricane victims spent their money on porn, tattoos and massages. The Smoking Gun is there

New trade figures show America is awash in Canadian beer (and the problem with that is???)

Having run out of titanium rods during surgery, Dr. Macgyver was forced to improvise, uses a screwdriver and hillarity did ensue

What a lightning strike looks like from 20 meters away

That's it for today.... have a great Thursday!

posted by Dave at Thursday, February 16, 2006