My Life (nobody else would want it!) |
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Idle thoughts in the life of an IT Professional that's married with children. My Profile Map of Countries I've Visited Other blogs that I write: The Wine Spot WhineSpot (co-hosted) Other Blogs that I read: My Life (by Karen) Carrie's Blog A Nichol's Worth (Patti) Points to Ponder My Life in Paradise (Curt's Blog) poopee shmoopee's blog BostonBlueEyes (Colin's blog) LQ's Blog, Moo Alex Simon of Space Mark's Regular Life Trucker Bob's Blog  Shared pain is lessened Shared joy is multiplied
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Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Post 669 It's going to be a gloomy week.. *frown* Yep, every day this week, the forecast is for cloudy and rain. Go figure. At least it's not snow I guess. Tonight, we get a "State of the Union" report from our illustrious President. Whoop de doo... he's not doing such a great job, and he's trying to do damage control I guess. Did any of you see this news article? It's about a guy that tripped over his own shoelace, and broke 3 priceless vases in England? I hope they were insured! *LOL* Wow, and another six people shot to death at a postal facility in California. What is it with Postal facilities? Is there something in the air or what? My friend Dave sent me this good one in email: 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses! 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? And now, on to the news: For those RPG players: Google maps of World of Warcraft In a poll of millions of Internet geeks who live in their parent's basements, AskMen.com dubs Jessica Alba the "ideal girlfriend" I've read this before, and it sounds interesting: How to turbocharge your gas mileage with a few ounces of paint thinner. Just don't light a match Nicole Kidman spends thousands of dollars on sexy lingerie for her new beau, something she didn't have to do for her ex-husband since he was, you know, "not interested" Police put the beatdown on suspect until they realize a helicopter is filming everything (w/video) And this is a GREAT read: Top 12 wackiest moments in Super Bowl history Hey Aaron, you think you have problems with the Canadian border? Idiot, hoping to sell counterfeit shirts at Super Bowl, buys them in New York and figures it would be quicker to cut through Canada to get to Detroit with his load, unaware of the concept of "border guards" Ok, this is way too weird: Brooke Burke is the Burger Queen. Does this guy get around or what! Paris Hilton exudes brilliant intellect in court by not knowing what country London is in, opining that everyone in Europe speaks French. The Sun is there with incredibly air-headed transcripts (like we didn't know this already?) That's it for today... enjoy your day! Monday, January 30, 2006
Post 668 Another weekend gone by the wayside... Man weekends go by too quickly! This one went by in a flash. Friday night, my friend Dave and I went out for a great Mexican dinner, and to see a movie. We saw "Underworld Evolution", with Kate Beckinsdale (who we both think is an extreme hottie). Dinner was great, and the movie was pretty good.. so it was a great night. Saturday my brother came over to get some music from me for his portable music machine (made by Sony). I think we were both surprised at how many music files I had, and he went home happy. Oh, I forgot to mention. When my son came home from work Friday (works at a supermarket), he brought home 5 huge containers of Oatmeal. Now, none of us eat oatmeal, but "he got a deal on them". So, Sunday night, my wife made a bunch of oatmeal cookies. Mmmm they're excellent and I'm having one right now! Other than that... not too much new. It's warm here today, and the fog is REALLY thick this morning. Oh, and my mom's going to have carpal tunnel surgery this Thursday. Well, on to the news: Lindsey Lohan gets tattoo reminding her to breathe during asthma attack. Need we tell you, she's a Blonde? For those of you who may find themselves stranded someday with a sugarholic. How to make a fire with a can of Coke and a chocolate bar The Earth's magnetic field may soon flip 180 degrees - Here comes the science New store offers among other things, 800 bottles of wine, 300 types of cheese, and a build-your-own six-pack of specialty beer. Oh, did I mention, this is a Stop & Shop? (East Coast food store) (a very interesting story) US drivers tell the big three why American cars suck That's it for today... enjoy your Monday! Friday, January 27, 2006
Post 667 TGIF.. and is it Spring yet? Well, our wacky weather continues. Today, it's a normal, seasonal 30's for weather. Tomorrow, it'll be in the 50's! It's teasing me.... trying to coax me into taking my Vette out! *LOL* Yesterday, I went to work with a co-worker, and afterwards we stopped at a "Pepperidge Farms" outlet store that was right next door to get some cookies. I picked up a package of these new things, called "Whims". Thin, cracker like things, in a Toffee flavor, that are just to die for! WOW. I had never seen these things before, but if you get a chance to try them, do so. I also picked up some Bordeaux cookies, and 3 packs of instant apple cider flavored with caramel that's outstanding. Other than that, not too much planned for the weekend. Tonight, I'm going out to dinner and a movie with my friend Dave. My brother's supposed to stop by tomorrow to look at some music I have for his new "ipod" kinda device. And other than that... nothing on the horizon. Well, going to be a busy day, so lets get to the news: Contractor attempts to remove oil tank from house by cutting it in half. Hilarity ensues Cingular trying to patent the Emoticon! :^( Feds smoke out largest drug tunnel yet Yesterday: Man punches teacher because his daughter says the teacher was abusing her. Today: Turns out the little girl was lying And for all us geeks: The top 10 most powerful supercomputers in the world And of course, it's Friday... so here's my BOTD! and... There's always room for one more! Have a great weekend all! Thursday, January 26, 2006
Post 666 Triple 6's.. uh oh! Well, my UCONN Huskies won again last night, but not without a bit of drama. Two players were ejected for fighting, which is a very serious thing. It was a tough game against a team that won their last 3, 2 of which against nationally ranked teams. Of course, my friend Ray was over to help root them on. Other than that, not too much new in my world. I'm glad everyone liked the stuff about Aerogel. I was amazed at it myself. Here's something you might find interesting (depending on how old you are): Milords, Ladies and Gentlemen, Kindly raise your glasses IN SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE'VE LOVED BEFORE... How's This For Depressing ? Brigitte Bardot 71 Stella Stevens 68 Sophia Loren 71 Gina Lollobrigida 78 Deborah Kerr 94 Lena Horne 88 Kay Starr 83 Patti Page 78 Annette Funicello 63 Barbara Eden 71 Angie Dickenson 74 Doris Day 81 Joan Collins 72 Julie Christie 64 Leslie Caron 74 Carroll Baker 74 Ann-Margret 64 Debra Padget 72 Julie Andrews 70 Ursula Andress 69 Rita Moreno 74 Jean Simmons 76 Julie Newmar 72 Kim Novak 72 Jane Powell 76 Debbie Reynolds 73 Shirley Temple 77 Jane Russell 84 Kathryn Grayson 83 Esther Williams 82 Elke Sommer 65 Gale Storm 83 Jill St. John 65 Liz Taylor 73 Mamie Van Doren 74 UNBELIEVABLE, HOW IN THE WORLD DID THEY GET OLD AND WE DIDN'T ? And a little something for the ladies out there: He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. My biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked him... Like his Mother used to do. On to the news: Unlicensed driver crashes stolen car into tow truck in police parking lot. Sometimes the mountain comes to Mohammed Officials from Mexico denied they were trying to encourage greater migration into the United States by providing detailed maps that included roads and water stations and areas with cellphone reception beyond the Mexican border After accusations of touchy-touchy, gynecologist is told by state regulators that he can continue to practice gynecology, he just can't treat women anymore. In other news, Florida has its first mangina specialist NASA officials to start looking for extraterrestrials. Careful scientific analysis has revealed most likely place to find them to be an area called "Neverland Ranch" Whistleblower reveals that Pentagon is buying $20 ice trays. Army argues you can't find combat-ready ice trays for less than that (How else could they support Area 51?) Wal-Mart, Costco and Target announce the roll-out of new fingerprint checkout scanners. Too bad 90 percent of them can be fooled by a simple Play-D'oh finger sold in aisle 7 Packing a grenade in your suitcase is stupid, particularly when you're a flight attendant Military-style jet crashes into Alaskan trailer park, killing pilot, causing couple dozen dollars of damage New car paint changes color with the temperature That's it for today... enjoy your day all! Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Post 665 You learn something new every day.... Yesterday, I was reading on CNN.COM about the Stardust spacecraft that brought back remnants of a comet's tail. I read about this stuff called "Aerogel", and clicked on a link about it. Now every once in a while, I find something and "BAM" become immersed because it's so interesting. Aerogel is the first one in many years (the last was Buckminster Fullerenes (Bucky Balls) about 10 years ago... don't ask). Here's the original CNN story that got me interested. And these my friends... are some pictures of this elusive Aerogel. It's called "Solid blue smoke", and looks unreal, but I assure you, it's very real. It's insulation properties is beyond compare, and a block of this stuff the size of a refridgerator, would weigh about 1 pound. It's 99.8% empty space, yet strong as heck. Wikipedia has a great and interesting page on this material. It's now being made and used to insulate large glass panels for buildings. I could go on and on.. *chuckle* I hope you find it as interesting as I do/did. On to the news: Basketball coach passes out on the sideline and is carted off on a stretcher, then receives technical foul. Shooter Flatch surrenders How many of you want to sign up for THIS kind of research? Sex researcher says that she has made significant strides working with test subjects to find the G spot. Complains that she'd get more work done if volunteers weren't ringing the phone off the hook Things you don't want to hear from the new EMT: "Hey, what do these paddle thingies do?" Can you believe it! sex.com domain name sells for 12 million dollars! Disney buys Pixar. New name to be Dixar. Say it out loud Disney building 100 million dollar roller coaster! That's it for today... enjoy your hump-day! Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Post 664 The UCONN Men are #1! Yep, for now at least, the UCONN Men's basketball team is #1 ranked in the country. The UCONN Women, are ranked #5. #1 Tennessee lost last night to #2 Duke. What a week! Mike H, have you been to any of the games? The storm here yesterday was pretty bad. Check out some pictures of it's results from CNN What's wrong with this picture? A soldier that KILLED an Iraqi General by what I see as torture, barely gets a slap on the wrist! The soldier put a sleeping bag over the General's head, then sat on his chest, suffocating him. If someone did that to one of OUR Generals, the poop would hit the fan. Then he has the nerve to make this statement ""When you send our men and women over there to fight, and to put their lives on the line, you've got to back them up, you've got to give them clear rules, and you've got to give them enough room to make mistakes without treating them like criminals," he said.". Good grief. Well, on to the news: Proof the apple doesn't fall far from the tree: Paris Hilton's mom ups the ante and goes out clubbing with her breasts exposed. (Link is, fortunately, SFW) Author's book sales skyrocket after Osama bin Drew Barrymore tires of all the attention Paris Hilton gets, decides to do a little attention whoring of her own by getting caught having sex in a public bathroom Ok, who didn't see THIS ONE coming? Sirius moves to censor Howard Stern Info on the F-35 new Joint Strike Fighter Duke has its No. 1 ranking taken away by Marcus Williams and UConn. Duke sucks That's it for today... enjoy your day! Monday, January 23, 2006
Post 663 More snow today... Yep, we awoke this morning to a few inches of snow outside, and on the drive in, it was really coming down heavy. This is one of those storms that may give us 3", or up to 10". Tomorrow, it'll be in the 40's. Go figure. The weekend was good.. Ray came over Saturday to watch the UCONN Women's game, and during that game, we watched on other channels as all the undefeated mens basketball teams lost, meaning, today, UCONN should be ranked #1 in the country! WHOO HOO! Welcome back to the blog to Paula.. and yes, I got my hair cut, but not too short! *chuckling* and michelle.... reading your comment.... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Luckily, my daughter has today off because of the snow. Another perk for being a school teacher I guess... but, I'd never want her job. The kids would drive me nuts. Some of the stories she tells me... GRRRRRRR! Think you know the US? Take this test, and tell me how you did! (I only got 17 right) And now, on to the news: Be careful what you try to buy on Craigslist! Five guys converge on Beaver Street hoping to meet "hooker" who advertised on craigslist. Jailarity ensues (isn't entrapment illegal?) Stalker of American Idol finalist repeatedly called her saying he "loved her and was willing to go to jail for her." Good thing he's OK with that last part It's okay to sexually assault and harass female celebrities if you're a fashion designer and "poke and prod at people's dresses every day." The absolutely BEST Aurora pictures you'll ever see! Army prepares to test-fire gun that can shoot 240,000 rounds a minute. NRA already thinking up reasons for owning one of these - like a million burglars are breaking into your home and you only have four minutes to defend yourself QM2 Passengers threaten mutiny over itenerary change!! In an interesting twist: Man who disappeared from cruise ship may have been following the green fairy That's it for today... enjoy your Monday! Friday, January 20, 2006
Post 662 Ahhh... another weekend at last! Thank goodness the weekend starts soon! I could use some extra sleep, and hopefully I'll get it tomorrow morning. I can get up late, then go to a haircut appointment I have tomorrow.. and nothing really planned. Maybe I'll go down and start up the Vette this weekend. *S* BTW, michelle... how come you didn't tell me, that yesterday was National Popcorn Day! *gasp* and here I thought you'd remind me! *laughing* (she knows I have a weakness for popcorn) You know, sitting here drinking my morning coffee, you have to wonder. Who was the first person to look at a coffee bean, and say "Hey, why don't I roast this, grind it and put it in boiling water and see what it tastes like". Did anyone try that with, like... rocks? Or pine cones? Or plain lawn grass? *chuckle* Talking about "old times"... here's soemthing Carrie sent me, and it's SO true!: Gotta Be Over 40 to Understand Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't get food poisoning. My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat a bite raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper, in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember anybody getting e.coli. Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then. The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system. We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of hightop Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built-in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened, because they tell us how much safer we are now.... Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym. Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the National Anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention. We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything, and she could even give you an aspirin for a headache or fever. I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself. I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations. Oh yeah..and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed! We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked! Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat. We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either, because if we did, we got our butt spanked there, and then we got butt spanked again when we got home. I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck. To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a "dysfunctional family". How could we possibly have known that we needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive? LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T---- SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING This is Dave, and I'll add a few: We had a penny candy store on the corner, with candy left right out in the open. Nobody dared even steal a piece of penny candy, because we all knew it was wrong. We played baseball, basketball.. all kinds of sports, from the morning till dinnertime. At noon, there was a whistle at a nearby factory that told us to head home for lunch, and we did. The WHOLE family sat together and watched TV together, and marvelled at things like Mr. Ed, Sky King, The Lone Ranger, Ed Sullivan, The Honeymooners.. etc. There was no sex on TV, nor drugs, nor rape, murder... etc. Get the picture? And now, something to make you smile: (ps, this is known to be a hoax, but it's hilarious anyways) David Letterman's take on this: (And it's a true story...) On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen, but racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but, gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!! Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and the another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, Ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing. The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say. The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband. The next morning flowers were delivered to her room -- a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years." It was signed; Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan On to the news: Man puts arc-welder to giant rocket engine he found, what could possibly go wrong? Ok, so many of us have seen the new Dodge Challenger Concept Car that will be built for next year, well did you know: Woman busted for posing nude on Dodge Challenger concept in Detroit. "We want people to love these cars, but not in that way" You learn something new every day... Woman takes out full page ad in newspaper seeking men to have sex with to cure her cancer. "The ideal candidate would need to have sex with me every two days for at least a year" Woman shocked after getting electrical bill for $250 million from power company. Chagrined company admits its error, but says it only needs one person to pay a bill like this for their elaborate scheme to work And now, My BOTD! And of course, There's always room for one (or three) more! Have a great weekend all! Thursday, January 19, 2006
Post 661 Another payday... ka-ching... Yep, payday today, and I'll be at the main office working. Has anyone been watching the new season of American Idol? Good grief, where DO these idiots come from! I guess everyone wants their 30 seconds of fame.. *chuckle* No Karen, I'm NOT getting hot flashes, that's the REAL weather here! *LOL* And michelle... hmm, I wonder who would volunteer for that high-speed photograph! *LOL* Hey Bob, have you been over to the wine blog yet? *chuckle* Have you ever gotten any of those wines yet? Sheesh, I have to wait 4 more weeks till another short week! The good news is, I get two short weeks in a row then! *chuckling* Well, lots to do and little time to do it this morning... so here's something interesting, then the news: Gotta love English! If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treat is on the lovely language we share and is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was used to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum 9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10. I did not object to the object. 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 14. The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail 18. After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests 21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. On to the news: Alaskan Volcano Cam! (very cool, remember they're 4 hours behind EST) And for those science geeks out there: Aussies claim ion space engine breakthrough. "Warm up the Phasers Scotty" A recipe for Guinness ice cream? BRILLIANT! For $11,000 you can own a 400 Joule 1.8 Gigawatt EMP shockwave generator 16-year-old Illinois student expelled from high school for doodling gang sign "D.L.K." in his notebook. The student's name is Derek Leon Kelly And for my "Headline of the Day": Laurence Fishburne sued by ex-assistant because she was pregnant and single. Too bad she didn't take the blue pill Well, that's it for today... enjoy your Thursday all! Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Post 660 Cold, then hot, then cold, then hot.... Yep, it's been VERY cold the last few days, and this morning, it's 55 degrees out! The fog is so thick out this morning, you can cut it with a knife. Makes driving hazardous for sure! Not really much to report today.. we watched the 2 hour American Idol show last night and laughed like nuts at some of the idiots that think they can sing. I can't imagine how some people can humiliate themselves that way.. but maybe they just want their 15 minutes of fame. Here's a funny for you all: Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life. As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer. The other brother was a devoted husband and father and supported many charities. One day the evil brother died. Then, after a few years, the good brother passed away. He went to heaven and was rewarded with a happy afterlife. One day he went to God and asked, "Where is my brother? He died before me, but I have not seen him here in heaven." God replied, "As you know, your brother led an evil life, so he is not spending eternity here in heaven. He has been sent elsewhere. "I'm sorry to hear that," the good brother replied. "But I do miss him and wish I could see him again." "You can see him if you wish," God said. "I will give you the power to gaze into hell." So the power was granted and the good brother gazed into hell. Before long he saw his brother sitting on a bench. In one arm he held a keg of beer, and in the other he cradled a gorgeous young blonde. The good brother turned to God and said, "I can't believe what I'm seeing. I have found my brother, and he has a keg of beer in one arm and a beautiful woman in the other. Surely, hell cannot be that bad." God explained. "Things are not always as they seem. The keg has a hole in it. The blonde doesn't." Oh, one last thing... there's a new post on my wine blog, The Wine Spot. And now, on to the news: 2005 Satire Awards announced If you own a cell phone, you're paying a three percent tax to help fund the 1898 Spanish-American War When the Navy gives you a secret file that requires a security clearance to read, try not to leave it behind at the pub You don't need a million dollars to have a threesome in Britain (the government strategy is a "two pronged" approach!) Canada Post refused to deliver Sex Party's political leaflets. In other news, Canada has a Sex Party (no wonder Carrie's always got a smile on her face! LOL) Stolen Corvette recovered 37 years later; Dusty Springfield 8-track still in player (SOMEONE WOULD STEAL A CORVETTE? *GASP*) Here's something Mark will like: Great high speed photos of things breaking/exploding! That's it for today... enjoy your Hump-Day! Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Post 659 I need another long weekend.... *groan* Well, my friend Victor came over Friday night with his wife and we had a blast! My kids met him, and instantly liked him (he's just that kinda guy), then another friend Gil came over (the guy I bought my first Vette from) and we went out for some pizza and talking. It was one of those evenings you just didn't want to end. *S* Saturday, daughter and I went to the car dealer for her 1500 mile checkup, then Ray came over to watch UCONN beat Georgetown. Saturday night, the weather turned COLD. During the day Saturday, it was near 50, and at night, with wind chill, it was below 0. New England.... if you don't like the weather, hang on for a few hours, it'll change. Last night, Ray came over to watch first the UCONN Women, then the Men play and when it was all done and over with, I got to bed at almost midnight *groan*. So.... I'm dragging today. And now, the Stella Awards, for all those frivolous lawsuits out there: Stupid people: In life and on Juries! It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year's winners: 5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son. 5th Place (tie) : 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. 5th Place (tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. 4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The! award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun. 3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tail bone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. 2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. 1st Place: This year's run away winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons! With that, I have to run... very busy day today, but it's great to see everyone in the comments (Mike, I never stay mad/upset.... so not to worry bud... though, you COULD call you know!) On to the news: Fort Lauderdale drivers may have noticed a 727 driving in the wrong lane with its blinker on yesterday (pics) Bubba, what's become of the yokels down in Ky? Kentucky teachers refusing to teach the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory At a mere $160 million per plane (over $350 million after R&D expenses are added) the USAF's new F-22A Raptor is ready for flight. Optional air conditioning, bling-bling wheels and CD players may raise the price though Woman's parrot reveals her affair when it said "I love you, Gary," in her voice and made sloppy kissy noises whenever it heard that name on TV. The big-mouthed parrot trifecta is now in play See what the most popular radio stations in your area are Woman takes out murder contract on herself. Killer fails. She sues, would-be killer pays her $3500, as he failed to keep up his end of the contract That's it for today... enjoy your Tuesday! Friday, January 13, 2006
Post 658 Friday the 13th, and a Long weekend again! Yep, Monday is Martin Luther King day, so I get it off as a State Employee (eat your heart out Curt and Bubba!) Oh, speaking of Bubba, he has a new blog post up at left (Points to Ponder) where he whines about Microsoft. Check it out. Curt... well he's working on converting me to being "suthern". While I may have my pulled pork sammich with slaw on it, he'll NEVER convert me to eating grits! NEVER I SAY! Hey Mike H, do you still read the blog? I haven't heard from you in ages. Now Karen... we all know that you're one of the BIGGEST buyer of batteries in all of Utah. I hear Duracell actually has a "Karen" division, trying to make them last longer with the G-Whiz product just for you! *chuckle* Well, I have a friend coming into town today for the weekend that I hope I'll get a chance to see tonight. Other than that, no big plans for the weekend. How about you all? On to the news: Well this is interesting for us IT geeks: Symantec admits anti-spyware program riddled with "kits" Sidney Frank, inventor of Grey Goose vodka, has died at 86 D.A. who campaigned on a platform of merit-based hiring wastes little time in hiring her sister-in-law as executive assistant Vampire to run for governor in the state of Minnesota And now... my BOTD! And there's always room for one more! Have a great Friday the 13th, and weekend, and remember, there won't be a blog on Monday! Thursday, January 12, 2006
Post 657 Wierd and Wacky New England Weather Can you believe.. it was in the mid 40's yesterday, and today, it's supposed to get up near 60??? Normal high's in January are in the high 20's to low 30's. Karen... now you, of all people should be a PRO at batteries! *LOL* Ok.. back to cars I owned as a kid.... we left off at my 1968 Dodge Coronet R/T, and VW Beetle I used in the winter. Believe it or not, I sold the Dodge back to the same person I bought it from! He loved it so much, he wanted it back, and today, he actually has 3 of them! One is a convertible. I sold it in the fall, and bought myself an inexpensive 1968 Jeep Commando that had a plow on it. I figured I'd make a few bucks over the winter plowing snow. (the pic isn't mine, but it's darn close to the one I had) I didn't have enough money for the plow too, but would have it in a couple of weeks so the seller said he'd hang on to the plow till I got the money for it. The guy I bought it off of, is a big shot lawyer in town. The day after I bought the jeep, the rear differential just plain DIED! I took it to a repair shop, and immediately, the mechanic said the seller KNEW this was going, because he put oatmeal in the differential to hide the problem (old trick). Well, even not being a lawyer, I knew you couldn't sell a car you KNEW there was a problem with, so I called the lawyer. He pretty much gave me a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo, till the mechanic got on the phone and TOLD him, he'd testify in court if he had to, that I was being ripped off. "Ok, come pick up the plow for free" was the answer. This way, he didn't have to pull a penny from his pocket. After that, I had a blast plowing snow all winter, had regular customers and made a bundle. But, from the looks of this thing... you just KNOW I'd need something different for the next summer. to be continued On to the news: Ok Karen... study this. There'll be a test later.. *LOL* Average penis sizes broken down by nationality and it turns out the French are the biggest dicks in the world In related news: Mini-Me to hawk mini-mp3 player. Reports are in that it's still bigger than his penis In sports news: Disgruntled employee reveals Stanford took football recruits to strip clubs. Is this revelation supposed to *hurt* recruiting? Now, for the politically correct news: Ugly help-line calls from America are grist for a new sitcom in India, "The Call Center" (imagine if we did that HERE!) Mount Augustine volcano in Alaska erupts. Visual confirmation expected within days, once sun finally rises (Did I mention, I was in Alaska when a volcano erupted?) Frickin Laser Beam weapons almost ready for battle (with pic) FEMA worker loots storm-ravaged house while the plumber looks on. Except the "plumber" was actually the returning homeowner Watch out Bob and Carrie: Canada's oil supplies to surpass Saudi Arabia's, Bush being briefed by the CIA about Canada's WMD's and terrorist training camps. Invasion in three... two... one... And my headline of the day: Blind man poisoned by blind lover. Didn't see it coming Enjoy your Thursday... Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Post 656 Sorry if I worried anyone.... I woke up yesterday sick as a dog, so I slept in, and even when I did get up, I felt awful, so didn't write a blog at all. Sorry if I worried anyone. Still not feeling too well today, but I had to come in, as I have 2 people coming out to one of my offices to do some major work. I was thinking of something odd on the way in today.... How there there are batteries in AA, and AAA sizes, but no "A" size? Why is there a C size, and a D size, but no "B" size?? Hmmmmmm Well, work is unbelievably busy today, so I have to get to the news early: Now here's a classic: Woman suffocates while hunting for her phone under a six-foot pile of clothing There are things that will always get you into trouble with your girlfriend. Forgetting her birthday, for instance, or checking out another woman. Or maybe taking naked pictures of her mom Whole Foods switches to 100 percent wind power for its stores Raleigh, NC is worried about sticky white substance in local waters, hopes their investigation has happy ending That's it for today... enjoy your Wednesday! Monday, January 09, 2006
Post 655 The first weekend of 2006 gone.... Well, it was a busy weekend. Friday night, the new version of many shows on the Sci-Fi channel started for the season, including one I've been watching for 2 years now, Battlestar Galactia. It's been nothing less than spectacular, but Fridays episode, was a home run! It was one of those shows, that when it was over, you sat there and went "WOW".... Saturday, I took my wife's car for an oil change while she took her mom grocery shopping in my truck. At 2pm, Ray came over as the UCONN women were on against Tennessee (their arch-enemies), and while they lost, it was a lot closer than everyone thought it'd be. At 4pm, the UCONN Men were on and won against LSU. It was an incredibly hard fought game, and UCONN was down by as much as 14, but came back to win by 1. Whew! After the games, we went out shopping. I wanted a few things, including a Senseo Coffee Maker. Now, I'm the only one in the house that drinks coffee, and seldom at home mostly because it's a bit of work to make a pot and waste it, as I only have one cup usually. Sometimes my son will have a cup, but it's rare. This machine is SO COOL! Put water in it, push a button to heat the water, add a pod, push down the lever and push a button to start your brew. In no time, you have a steaming cup of coffee, that even has some frothy foam on top! Mmmmmmmmm. Yesterday was pretty much a "take it easy" kinda day which was nice. Tonight, we're going out to dinner after work with some friends I used to work with at my last job. After that, it's home to watch UCONN men play Cincinatti. BTW Mark, I don't make up ALL the headlines, most of them are already written... but some times I do embellish upon them. What'd you do this weekend? Dumb: Parents leave small children home alone while they live it up in Las Vegas. Dumber: One of the children is autistic. Dumber: They get a sitter for the dog Hey Carrie, this is a bit too close to you! Most moms find their kids' cigarettes or dirty magazines. This one found his fully loaded AK-47 machine-gun (with pic) Florida prison program has inmates building custom motorcycles (Take that Paulie) Now this is the stuff that makes my heart beat harder: Dodge's Challenger Concept Car... PLEASE MAKE THIS! Two more of my dream cars: BMW's M5 and M6... ~swoon~ Ok... I've stopped crying long enough to post this... it's SO DAMNED FUNNY! (just for you Karen) Give something special to your favorite girl this Valentines day, that's right, a solid milk-chocolate replica of your penis, batteries sold separately Skeletal remains found under home by repairman. In other news, blonde wins hide-and-seek championship Damn, do I hold off getting my new TV? Old and Busted: That 42" LCD TV with 3000:1 contrast ratio you spent thousands on last year. New Hotness: The 55" Surface-conducting Electron-emitter Display, with 100,000:1 contrast ratio And that's it for today... enjoy your Monday! Friday, January 06, 2006
Post 654 The first TGIF of the new year! Yep, it's finally Friday. I thought this week would never end! I just hope the weekend goes by as slowly. This is a big weekend for UCONN Basketball. The women play tomorrow at 2pm against their arch- Other than that, nothing planned for the weekend but for a bit of well earned relaxation. What have you all planned for the weekend? BTW, I'll re-start the stories about the cars I owned when younger next week. I think I left off on my Dodge Coronet R/T... Sorry Mark, I thought you were a Texas fan! WHOOPS! The new patch is out for Microsoft Windows. Please make sure you patch your PC's as soon as possible, this hole seems to be a big one! Well, in a hurry this morning, so on to the news: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes wedding reportedly on hold after Tom had trouble getting out of the closet at the Holmes family house Tampa Bay Bucs playing against the New Orleans Saints, play "Rock You Like a Hurricane" during the halftime medley last Sunday. New Orleans Saints, fans not amused In a move that is sure not to backfire, Microsoft unveils its new music service "Urge," which will not be compatible with iPods U.S. Women's Olympic Hockey team loses to a bunch of high school boys. Bobby Riggs's neighbors report maniacal laughter A rocket strapped to a bicycle. What could possibly go wrong? And in some good news: Anheuser-Busch extends free theme park admissions for active-duty service members and their families into 2006 And now.... My BOTD! And there's always room for one more! Have a great weekend all! Thursday, January 05, 2006
Post 653 And another day begins... Boy, for a short work-week... it sure has been a long one! *chuckle* Hey Mark, congrats on Texas winning the game last night! WHOO HOO! Ok, well those that know me know I love technology, and I love cool cars. Well, a doctor friend of mine yesterday came by and showed me this. The Bugatti Veyron. The most powerful (1001 HP), fastest (>253 mph) production car on Earth. Ok, the price tag is around 1.4 million dollars, BUT... read the article. It's full of technological marvels. Before this, the McLaren F1 was arguably the fastest car, but read this from another reviewer: You might point out at this juncture that the McLaren F1 could top 240mph, but at that speed it was pretty much out of control. And anyway it really isn’t in the same league as the Bugatti. In a drag race you could let the McLaren get to 120mph before setting off in the Veyron. And you’d still get to 200mph first. The Bugatti is way, way faster than anything else the roads have seen. Ahh... to dream..... On to the news: Retired judge headed for trial again on bench use of penis pump. In other news, he shaved his pubic area during closing arguments in high-profile murder case Solar-powered streetlights to offer wifi access. Police anticipate an increase in traffic as people wait at the light to download their latest iTunes Man buys lighthouse on Ebay for $170K sight unseen, foghorn unheard (w/pic) Old and busted: Jelly of the Month Club. New hotness: Bacon of the Month Club And if you go to only one link today, this is the one: Cosquer Cave, located 115 feet below the surface of the Mediterranean, but loaded with prehistoric cave paintings. W/Pics That's it for today... enjoy your day! Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Post 652 We made it through another storm... We got about 12 inches of snow at my house yesterday, though snowfalls throughout the state varied greatly. Some places got as little as 2-3 inches, up to our 12 inches of the white, very heavy wet stuff. Well, our #2 UCONN Husky Basketball team got thrashed last night by Marquette. It was an embarassing loss by our team, but they'll bounce back. You just hate to see them lose to anyone. You have to understand, they had a kid on their team (Steve Novak) that just couldn't miss from anywhere on the floor. He had 41 points and could have had a lot more. Oh well... there's a lot more games to go still. Other than that, not much else new. It was mom's birthday yesterday, and we had had a cake for her on Sunday. I tried to call her 4 times yesterday, but she was on the phone each time... so I'll probably catch it today for not calling her *groan*. On to the news: Local businesses pitch in to keep beer and wine store afloat in North Carolina mountain town Disney resort forgets that soccer families and swingers conventions do not mix. Naked hilarity ensues Man divorces wife, continues to share household without notifying her of her new "single" status Are you an alien abductee? 58 common indicators of UFO encounters or abductions by alien beings. "Ass pain" must be #59 Japanese invent soy-sauce-dispensing chopsticks (pic) 18 tricks to teach your body That's it for today.... have a great Wednesday! Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Post 651 And the snow fell.... Well, we're getting whacked today wtih from 5-12 inches of snow! It's the thick, heavy snow that's hard to clean off the roads, and hangs on power lines and trees causing damage and outages. I have a feeling work is going to be deserted today. It was a nice weekend, Friday night, our friends Ray and Debbie asked us to go bowling with them and their daughter and her boyfriend. Now, I used to bowl on a league about 18 years ago, but haven't bowled a frame since. Ray had kidded that the week before, he had gone with his daughter and her boyfriend, and one game didn't even make 100. Well, the pressure was on me! *LOL* The first game, (and you can't even cheat, all scoring is electronic), I had 84 in the 9th frame, looking like I wasn't going to make 100 when I got a spare, and a 6 fill to just make 100! WHEW! The second game, my arm started to feel like it was going to fall off tossing my 16 pound ball down the lane. I just squeaked by with a 101! *LOL* All in all, it was a great time.. but the next day I felt sore all over from not using those muscles. Oh well... I'm feeling a lot better today.. *chuckle* New Years Eve, our friends Dave and Tina came over, and we made some munchies, and watched "Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo" which was hilarious! I never saw the first one, but this one had us roaring. We rang in the new years watching Dick Clark (did he look awful or what), and a great time was had by all. Oh, and it also snowed about 6 inches on New Years Eve, making travel a mess. Luckily, for the first time in many years, there were no fatalities on the road both for the Christmas and New Years holiday weekends. Sunday, we went over to have cake for my mom's birthday (it's today), and just hung around.. not a busy day. Yesterday was more of the same. How was your weekend? On to the news: A very cool pic of a Space Shuttle at the exact moment a sonic boom occured When I was researching the "People who died in 2005", I read some of the bio's of the people. Check out the bio for James Doohan (Scotty). It's absolutely amazing. Did you know he was a Canadian, a war hero, and lost a finger in the war? Man arrested for doing 207Km/h (128 Mph) in his Lamborghini Diablo said he couldn't feel the speed in the vehicle (yeah, I'd use that excuse) Now this is cool: The Paper airplane simulator And lastly, Bootleg copy of 2006 Hooters calendar (SFW) (This next one brings back memories) And a dialogue, between a young lady and Ray and Tom, automotive Q&A for a newspaper somewhere: Q: I am writing you at my dad's request. Recently, my boyfriend offered to change the oil in my car for me. I have a 1992 Olds 88 in very good condition (180,000 miles). Up until now, my dad has maintained it. My boyfriend charged me $45 for parts and nothing for the work. He said most of the cost was to refill the fluid levels in the headlights. When I informed my dad of this, he called me an idiot and told me not to see this boy ever again. When I asked why, he said to write to you guys. I don't understand. My boyfriend said he used the "halogen" type fluid, which is supposed to be better than the standard type. What did I do wrong? Melissa Tom: Gee, I don't know, Melissa. My brother tops off my headlight fluid all the time, and he usually charges me more than that. Ray: Actually, there are two possibilities here, Melissa. One is that you misunderstood what your boyfriend said. Perhaps instead of saying he replaced the "fluid levels in the headlights," he actually said he took care of the "fluid levels AND the headlights." That would be perfectly reasonable. Tom: Yeah. You can get halogen bulbs for that car; they cost about $50 for a pair. Add that to the oil and filter, and your boyfriend's actually losing money on the deal. Or getting you very good prices. Ray: The other possibility is that he's a criminal, and you should dump him and never speak to him again. Headlights don't require any fluid. And if he's willing to lie to you for $45, imagine what he'll do if he ever gets within sniffing distance of your bank account. Tom: So, ask him again what he did to your car. Tell him you're not sure you heard correctly. If he says "fluids and headlights," give him a big kiss and thank him for being such a good boyfriend. Ray: If he says "fluid IN the headlights," or tries to get another $45 out of you to put red fluid in the taillights, dump some itching powder in his undershorts and don't look back, Melissa. Have a great day all...! |