My Life (nobody else would want it!) |
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Idle thoughts in the life of an IT Professional that's married with children. My Profile Map of Countries I've Visited Other blogs that I write: The Wine Spot WhineSpot (co-hosted) Other Blogs that I read: My Life (by Karen) Carrie's Blog A Nichol's Worth (Patti) Points to Ponder My Life in Paradise (Curt's Blog) poopee shmoopee's blog BostonBlueEyes (Colin's blog) LQ's Blog, Moo Alex Simon of Space Mark's Regular Life Trucker Bob's Blog  Shared pain is lessened Shared joy is multiplied
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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Post 575 Another rainy day.. but better than being in New Orleans! I sure hope things dry out quickly for the people devvestated by the hurricane. Watching it on TV and online, it's so hard to imagine. At least it's good weather for sleeping, but we still have to keep the A/C on, as it's extremely humid and warm still. I can't believe how much looting is going on down there.. a police officer was found stealing a 42" plasma TV out of a CHILDRENS HOSPITAL! Good grief. Thank goodness, this is supposed to be a gorgeous weekend, weather-wise. My dad's doctors appt was posponed till today.. so no news there. Oh, and there's a link to Trucker Bob's new blog on the left! Other than that, not much new... so on to the news: (an interesting read) College sex columnist appalled to discover that there are men out there who have never had oral sex with a woman. "Sex with him was like trying to assemble an Ikea bookcase using instructions written upside-down in Aramaic" Frazzled by nonstop Katrina coverage, CNN weatherman suffers hissy fit when anchor keeps interrupting (Video here) Proving that he should be assassinated immediately, Hugo Chavez offers fuel and food to hurricane victims (a very interesting read) And my headline of the day: Ron Popeil sells Ronco for $55m. That's just two easy payments of $40m and $15m. But wait, there's more. You get this fabulous set of ginsu knives absolutely FREE. And now, for something to make you smile. Curt and Bubba, pay attention here now! Redneck Hints & Tips General Never take a beer to a job interview. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. Dining Out When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. Entertaining In Your Home A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table... no matter how good his manners are. Personal Hygiene While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. Dating (Outside The Family) Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. Theater Etiquette Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. Weddings Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. Driving Etiquette Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. Have a great day all! Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Post 574 Rain, Rain, everywhere.... Yep, it's been raining since yesterday.. but it's a lot better than what they're getting/got in Lousiana, and Mississippi. Those poor people won't be able to go home for about a week, and what they go home to, is going to be devestating. I'm amazed at the resilience of people after such devestation. Keep them in your thoughts and prayers. Well, my dad has another doctors appt today... lets hope that goes well. His gaining of weight seems to have tapered off a bit.. I'm hoping it comes back again. And now, for something you may enjoy: TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a water bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms.......... . . WE HAD FRIENDS . . . we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them! And now, the news: Jellyfish shut down nuclear reactor. White House considering massive jellyfish airdrop over site of Iranian nuclear power plant Ten common items "invented" by sci-fi writiers Man finds evidence of a major UFO freeway above Earth The king of Swaziland has the difficult job of picking his new wife from 20,000 topless teenage virgins That's it for today.... until the next wave..! Monday, August 29, 2005
Post 573 Another damn Monday... Mondays are coming way too fast lately.. and, it's getting darker and darker in the morning as I come to work. Friday night, we took the Vette out to a Hooters Restaurant about 15 miles away, for a cruise night. There were at least 20 Corvette's there, and lots of other great cars. It's nice, you can sit outside on the porch, have a beer and something to eat and enjoy the view (the cars too people!). Saturday, I got a haircut early, then the wife and I went out for a nice long drive, as it was a gorgeous day. Sunday, it rained, and we went to see mom and dad, and just did indoor things. We watched the movie "Sideways" this weekend... what a weird movie that is! *LOL* and somehow, I knew the end would be like that..... Well, football season begins soon.. and after that, College Basketball, my favorite! But, with that, comes fall and winter. I have a feeling I'll be using a lot of wood in the wood stove this winter. What's with rising oil costs again? It's not stopping. Lets keep our fingers and toes crossed for the people near New Orleans... that storm looks NASTY! And now, on to the news: 11-year-old accused of carjacking vehicle with three children so he could get to school the next morning "You're not going to whine after this ride like Lisa Marie Presley, are you?" Wally Dallenbach asks Quentin Tarantino before giving him a ride in a NASCAR race car! Hands-on review: why Open Office 2.0 beats MS Office to a pulp (oh, and it's free) MIT student has invented carbonated ice cream. "it just kind of goes 'whoof' on your tongue." Alberta's oil sands give Canada the ability to supply all of North America for the next 50 years without touching a drop of imported oil -- at US$40 a barrel In Darwinian news: When doing a little nighttime gasoline siphoning, don't use a cigarette lighter to see what you're doing. Welder's torch is probably a no-no also That's it for today... enjoy your Monday (as much as can be for a Monday) Friday, August 26, 2005
Post 572 TGIF My Friends! Actually, because of having Wednesday off, this week FLEW by! It helps that the weather was gorgeous, as it's supposed to be through Saturday. Tonight it's supposed to be nice, so we'll probably take a nice ride in the Vette. Oh, and finally, what you've been waiting for... Me and my lobster! Hopefully, today will go by quickly... I'm going into the main office to watch one of my buds that works there play some jazz at noontime! Supposedly, he's pretty good.. and we'll see! Free jazz... how can one refuse? It's definitely heading towards fall... it was downright COOL out this morning! Had to have the heater on in the truck! Oh well.... another summer going by quickly. The good news is, 42 days till vacation! On to the news: Yo, Curt and Bubba... didja know this? Earthquake strikes NC/Tennessee border. Causes tens of dollars in damage, dozens of dogs feared dead in porch collapse And from the "Yo Bubba, watch this!" files! When attempting to land plane, remember this simple rule: First deploy landing gear, THEN land Now here's a kid someone should hire soon! Teenager invents hamster-powered cell-phone charger. Fittingly, this story brought to you by Virgin.net Australian woman claims to have been child raised by dingos. Judging by her looks, it is certainly plausible Woman paints her car with 112 bottles of nail polish (with pic) And of course, My BOTD! (It's in the eyes people...!) And one more...! with (at least) two things I just love in a woman! *ROTFL* Anyone have weekend plans? Have a great weekend all...! Thursday, August 25, 2005
Post 571 WOW, WHAT A DAY! *S* Oh it was an AWESOME day yesterday... thanks to Aaron, and 2, four pound lobsters! Check out Aaron and his lunch date! *LOL* The picture of my lobster, tomorrow! The day started out with blue skies and sunshine, but on the ride down, the clouds have overrun the area. There was still no chance of rain, and the clouds probably kept it comfortable out.. and it was perfect for eating outdoors. There were all kinds of beautiful boats sailing or motoring by.. and the lobsters were just perfect. Very sweet and tender. All in all, a fantastic day... Thanks Aaron! Moving right along, my dad has another doctors appt today.. so lets hope that goes well. I sold his car last night to a friend of mine's son. Other than that, not much to report... so on to the news: Introducing... the Water Bikini! Ok ladies.. get in line... India may lose up to 45 percent of its outsourcing business to other countries by 2007 because salaries are going up to a whopping $204. Payback is a biatch This is priceless! When calling your ex-girlfriend a skank in an Ebay auction, make sure you don't link to a photo she can change! This is too funny... In a collision of cliches, Japan’s first mall-patrolling security robot confuses the Japanese prime minister for Sarah Connor. Hilarity ensues Man narrowly avoids winning Darwin Award after successfully dislodging a round stuck in his gun using a screwdriver. Naturally, man did this while the gun was pointing at him That's it for today... enjoy your day! Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Post 570 And a BEAUTIFUL morning it is!! Oh it's a GORGEOUS morning outside! Sunshine and blue skies... going to be a great day to have some Lobster! Well, it looks like my dad's cheek is infected AGAIN! *groan* It's an open wound, and very hard to keep clean... so he's back on antibiotics again. Tonight, my friend Dan goes over there with me to buy my dad's car. Dad'll be happy it goes to someone that'll take care of it, and someone I know as it's a good car. It was funny yesterday, in work, my (new) boss and I had a meeting at the main hospital, and when it was done, we took a walk to find the "Disaster Recovery Room". Well, 20 minutes later, we were lost in the bowels of the hospital... until we saw someone we knew and he took us to it. I hadn't been before, and my boss had only been there once.. and if you saw where this place is, you'd have a hard time finding it twice too! We did have a good time looking though! *LOL* BTW, once more I'll ask for some thoughts and prayers for michelle's husband Fred.. who took a bad fall recently. Who would have believed... my 20 year old son, on Sunday night, went to see The Allman Brothers!!! *gasp* AND HE LOVED THEM! *LOL* Maybe there IS hope for him after all...... nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh And now, on to the news: Lets see how smart you are.. is it real, or a hoax? And here's one for Aaron... Web Crossward Puzzles! Ok, some people are just plain sick. "Catman" spends $200,000 on plastic surgery to look just like Garfield (with hideously ugly pic) And before I go, a funny for you all: SIMPLE REDNECK HOME REMEDIES 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. 8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan That's it for today.... hope you all have as good a day as I'm going to have! Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Post 569 What a beautiful week.... Yep, the weather yesterday (for the most part) was gorgeous, and it's supposed to be sunny and nice all week long. Yesterday, when I got home, I washed the Vette, then tried on the winter cover to make sure it fit ok (perfect), then after dinner too it for a short ride. It was perfect out! I have to ask this.. you've probably heard about the NFL player that died after a game on Sunday..., but why on earth does it say it'll take 3-6 WEEKS to do the toxicology tests? On CSI, they do them in hours!!! What's with that? 45 more days till vacation! WHOO HOO!!! Amazing how I went from over 12 comments on my birthday, to 4 yesterday! *LOL* Has ANYONE else been reading Simon of Space?? Damn it's good!!!! I'm highly addicted. With that, I have a couple of good funnies for you all: The Hypnotist! A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back. He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife! She's not my wife! She's not my wife!" His funeral services will be held on Monday. "IDIOTS ARE AMONG US" DEER CROSSING: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, KS. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." This happened in Birmingham, Ala. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, this is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know -- I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi. And now, the news: Talk about poor sports Newly remodeled visitors' locker room at University of Iowa football stadium looks like Barbie's Dream House on acid (w pic) Thirteen percent of school girls pregnant at Ohio's Timken High school. Principal: “I wish I knew the answer to why it's happening” First look... After five years in development, Windows Thonghorn... er, Longhorn... um, Vista ... features revealed: It's now capable of "photo-quality wallpaper" And Mike pointed out last week, that I had no BOTD... so Mike, Here's Fay for you! Have a great day all.. and tomorrow's blog will be late because I'M OFF WORK TOMORROW! WHOO HOO! Monday, August 22, 2005
Post 568 A new week begins.... Well, other than the weather, it was a pretty good weekend! Only downside is, my family never made me a birthday cake (after many hints too). Go figure. Other than that, it was nice. Saturday was dad's birthday, and we went and spent some time there. He had announced to us about 2 weeks ago that he was selling his car, and I actually sold it for him! My friend Dan was looking for a car for his son, and it worked out just right. Welcome to some new readers (I hope)... Lets see, there's Theresa, Anne Arkham, KarenLeigh and Sweetrosie! (guess most if not all came over from Karen's blog!) *LOL* Thanks Karen!!! Oh, I almost forgot to mention.. my wife and I got our FIRST invitation to a "lesbian wedding"! *chuckling* They're 2 old friends of mine I used to work with at my last job, really great people. They've been together forever, and I guess they're going to "formalize" their relationship. I can't wait to see how it happens. It should be a great week... taking Wednesday off for a BIG lobster lunch with Aaron. I'm really looking forward to it. How was everyone's weekend? I still have to go back and read everyone's Friday blogs! Oh well, more tomorrow... but for now, on to the news: Now that space shuttle is gone and there will be no awkward questions asked, astronauts on space station feel free to bring their life-size human doll with touchable soft skin back inside! With the first year of The Muppet Show coming out on DVD, read this interview with Kermit! (it's hilarious) Hey Karen.... Amazon.com to begin selling "adult" toys! *ROTFL* Hmmm another road-trip to Brussels may be in order... Monastery runs out of beer when competition rules it the world's best And here's one for you Bob: Truck driver drives 40 ton truck onto bridge only meant to hold 15 tons. You can guess what happened next Well, there's plenty more.. but it's time to end this! Have a great day all...! Saturday, August 20, 2005
Post 567 A day late, but worth it! Sorry, yesterday I got up a bit late, and had to run out to go golfing. Dan and I went out to a great course, had a WONDERFUL time playing golf (he beat me by 2 strokes though), and of course had to visit the 19'th hole (club house) for a few beers. Then we went and had a great lunch at my favorite Mexican place, and home. It was a wonderful day. Last night, I went to Dave's house for his daughter's birthday party (same day as mine), and they had a small cake there for me! *chuckling* Then, they gave me my present... a movie poster from Forbidden Planet, framed in a frame Dave made himself. It's GORGEOUS and I love it! I'll try to get a pic of it up here soon. For my birthday, my wife and kids got me what I had asked for (first time ever I think *LOL*) in getting me a car-cover for my Vette for when I put it away for the winter. It's exactly what I wanted, and I love that too. All in all, the last couple of days has been fantastic... AND... Aaron talked me into taking next Wednesday off, to go to Abbotts Lobster in the Rough for some great lobster! My wife hates seafood of any kind, so it's always a treat to go out and get some, and Abbotts is my favorite place. Other than that... just having a nice weekend so far.... Thank you ALL for such warm wishes in the comments!!!! No news today... but I'll have a bunch on Monday! Enjoy your weekend! Dave Thursday, August 18, 2005
Post 566 Happy Birthday to Me...... Yep, today I'm 49 years old. *groan* I was just telling Aaron on the phone that I have the most problems with birthdays that end in a 9 or a 0. I'm not really happy about this one. I'm taking the day off tomorrow, to go golfing though, and that should be real nice. I haven't been out at all this year yet, and my bud Dan's taking the day off too, to go. That means the blog will be late tomorrow people! I took the Vette to work today, as it's supposed to be between 70 and 80 degrees today, and bright sunshine. Life is good! Other than that, not a lot to report. Today is also my God-Daughter's (Dave's daughters) birthday. Yesterday was my mother-in-law's, and Saturday is my dad's birthday! *L* 3 within 4 days. Friday night, I'm going to Dave's daughter's birthday party, then not sure what else this weekend other than going to see Dad on Saturday. Some things, one of my favorite comedians said about age (Bob Hope): ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill". ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing." ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." ON TURNING 100 " I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap." Well.... on to the news: Pierce Brosnan out as 007 Animal lover picks up a copperhead to help it across the road. Hilarity ensues And something for Bruce, Mike H, and maybe Aaron UConn basketball players dismissed for stealing laptops. Didn't realize they could buy them for $50 in Virginia. Duke sucks Scientists discover huge bar at the center of our galaxy, think this explains the rash of alien crash landings on earth Here's one PorterSR will love.. Marine told he is no longer a Texas resident because he was away in Iraq After dozens of complaints made to Comcast, woman receives new bill addressed to "Bitch Dog". Article gets bonus points for special guest appearance by "Jeffrey Scrotum Bag Barnes" And my quote of the day: Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria gets hit in the face by a huge pole. And this time, it wasn't owned by a teenager! Have a great Thursday all...! Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Post 565 The good weather is BACK! Yep, today through Saturday are supposed to be gorgeous! I have plans to go golfing with my friend Dan on Friday, and my son may join us if he can move his work schedule. People, PATCH YOUR PC OPERATING SYSTEMS! It doesn't take too long, and it helps protect against things like this real bad worm that's going around! Do it today! Last night, we went to that cruise night that I tried to go to last week on the wrong night! Ray and his wife went too, and while small, we had a great time. I won a bucket full of car goodies in a raffle as did Ray, and he won a trophy for his car! There was some gorgeous cars there including 2 1969 Plymouth Road Runners, a GTO Judge, a '78 Vette, and a few hot rods that I don't know the exact years of, not to mention a 57 and 55 Chevy. 51 Days till Vacation! Whoo hoo! For some odd reason, my son takes his shower at around midnight when he comes home instead of in the morning. I've never figured that one out.. but last night he wakes me at 12:30am telling me the tub fawcet won't shut off *groan*. I got it down to a very slow trickle, but I have to call my friend Dave to come look at it after work today (hoping of course that it doesn't get any worse). This afternoon, on the way home I have to stop by the main health center to get my yearly TB test. Everyone that works here has to get one yearly on the month of their birthdays. It's not a problem... just that little bubble of liquid they inject just below the skin. Takes a second, and you barely feel a thing. Hey Mike H, yes, I still have over 4 weeks vacation remaining... don't you? *S* And on now, to the news: Pothead gets PWNED when cops find pics of the stash on his lost cell phone Some of those classic illusions explained! The Museum of Online Museums. Notice the top one, The Virtual Museum of Canada! Woman takes four-month-old son out drinking in a bar, eventually passes out with infant in parking lot after getting kicked out Ok, this is really weird Boy on tricycle steals large quantity of natural gas (w/ pic) That's it for today... enjoy your day! Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Post 564 Why am I so tired??? I think I'm sleeping well, but waking up REAL tired this week for some reason. Looks like I'm going to take Friday off this week.... supposed to be a nice day, maybe I can find someone to go golfing with. Maybe I'll talk my brother into going down to the shore for some lobster! Hmmm the possibility.... This week is the 50th anniversary of a horrible flood that hit the area where I live. Here's some pictures from that flood... When you get to picture 3, that's where I used to wait for my high school bus, and it's about 2 blocks from where I grew up! Behind the gentlemen there, was a pharmacy with a real soda fountain! I went to grammar school about 100 yards up the street on the right. Wasn't it awful about that plane crash on Sunday! There's so many conflicting reports.. the guy who said a text msg was sent from his cousin on the plane was arrested after it was found to be false. It was widely reported yesterday that everyone was frozen, but today they say no, people may have actually been alive when the plane hit. Supposed to be a nice week, weather-wise this week... so maybe I'll try to take the Vette into work one day! Maybe on my Birthday... hmmmmm And now, on to the news not fit to print: The Slinky is 60 years old this week! Karen, you and Eva Longoria have something in common! LOL Eva Longoria warned by ABC (Disney) to stop saying "vibrator" after receiving truckloads of sex toys from fans And for my Canadian friends: Canadian newspaper expected to be a lot more fun to read as Canadian reporters can now use the F-word Yo, Curt... what's this all about? North Carolina town forgets its own 150th birthday 40 funny reasons why it's wonderful to be a woman... #19 - Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers Don't we ALL love that great 3D sidewalk art! And the quote of the day: Crooks bust into warehouse and make off with cases of Viagra. Cops hoping leads will pop up soon That's all for now... have a great day! Monday, August 15, 2005
Post 563 Fall is coming.... I can feel it Yep, I'm getting up in the dark now.. so fall is coming quickly. While that's a good and bad thing... change is inevitabla. Saturday was so hot... it was easily 100 degrees and over 70% humidity. We stayed in for the most part, as well as yesterday when it might have been 10 degrees lower, but no less humid. For some reason, I'm absolutely dead tired this morning. I thought I slept well... but just can't seem to get going like I normally do. (just got my coffee, and hoping that will help) I'm also starting to get mildly depressed as another birthday is coming up this week *groan*. How I wish I could turn back time...... PorterSR, don't worry about having your wife help you liven up your blog, have her liven up YOU bud! *L* Hey Curt and Bubba, are you guys reading the blog anymore?? Haven't heard from ya's in ages! Oh well... on to the news: Dad finds naked 25-year-old man under his 13-year-old daughter's bed. Dad conducts his own "interrogation" before calling police and paramedics Amusing Pat Goldstein (LA movie critic): "'Deuce Bigelow 2' sucks." Rob Schneider: "What do you know? It's not like you've won a Pulitzer Prize for film criticism." Roger Ebert: "I have, and your movie sucks." Here's one we can all use (well, maybe not Bob) How to call in sick when you just need a day off Designers of a man-portable water cannon to knock down rioters apparently unaware that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, they must have been napping during freshman physics Paris Hilton dumps her chihuahua Tinkerbell for another because it was growing into a bigger bitch than she is And my quote of the day: Licking County judge sends custody dispute involving two lesbians back to Columbus courts. Franklin County magistrate says it is just right that the Lesbians hold court in Licking County. That's it for today... enjoy your day and week! Friday, August 12, 2005
Post 562 TGIF.. and an HHH one coming! Yeah, tomorrow it's supposed to be 104 with the humidity factored in *groan*. Oh well.. we've had a bunch of great weekends, and we're overdue for an 'off' one. No Aaron, and no silver Honda Element's either. sheesh Have any of you ever looked for vacation deals at Travelzoo? They have outstanding deals. This week, they've got one, 7 nights in Barbados, air and hotel, for $299! An 8 night cruise from NYC to the Caribbean, balcony room for $648. If you go there, check out their "Top 20" deals. My brother's actually looking at the cruise. I went to get some gas last night in the Vette, and the wife needed gas in her car, so we both went at the same time. She gets there and I"m already pumping gas, and she says out loud to me "How'd you get here so fast?" I say out loud "Can't POSSIBLY be my car now... can it?" to which the guy at the next pump laughs his ass off (he didn't know she was my wife). Not sure what's going on this weekend... seeing as it's going to be so hot, it may mean staying indoors more. What's everyone else got planned for the weekend? On to the news: You got to see this guy's picture: Oklahoma man, angered by repeated raids of wife's panties, sets up MacGyver-like trap, beats thief senseless. The Smoking Gun is there New impotence cream on the horizon. Directions say to apply cream to penis, rub furiously Now this breaks my heart "Da Vinci Code" movie to omit references to religion. Will end up being "a great car chase movie" Three Colorado kids who found $98,000 and turned it in to police have been told they can keep it Now tell me guys, does this picture give you ideas? Make you smile? And some great headlines: Political correctness strikes college football, as UT-OU Red River Shootout to be renamed "Red River Rivalry." Because we all know how much people in Texas and Oklahoma hate guns Alaskan's digital sign, on which he displayed Bible verses, must be unplugged because it looks too much like a road-condition sign. Today's road-condition update: Slow going from Exit 12 to Psalm 119 And it's Friday... so here's my BOTD! I tell ya... it's all in the eyes.. *S* If you don't believe me, Check out THESE eyes! Or Or these eyes! But my very favorite "eyes", are on Kim, in this picture. Have a great weekend all...! Thursday, August 11, 2005
Post 561 Thank Goodness this week is FLYING by! It's flying by so fast..... last night, I took the wife out for a ride, to a neighboring city... for a small cruise night in the Vette (it was gorgeous out), got there and the parking lot was empty! It's on every TUESDAY night! *L* I was positive it was Tuesday yesterday... Ok ok.... yes, I'm getting old... I know. We laughed all the way home. Seriously, this week is absolutely flying by. Work's so busy I am eating at my desk while working.. but it's a good busy. In serious news, did anyone see the news about the Utah truckload of explozives that exploded? Looks like the truck vaporized! (with pic) Are gas prices ever going to stop going up? It's getting expensive to just drive back and forth to work nowadays. I know it's much more in Canada.. but hey, we produce a lot of oil in the US. (of course, we then sell it to Asia) Glad to hear your husband's home michelle! And now, we all need a smile so here's a good joke I got recently: A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver. Oh well... on to the news: This is cool... Wrecked Exotic Cars! As Detroit prepares to lay off non-essential workers such as police and fire personnel, check out these neat deer they just bought for $1,000,000 Don't you love things like this... NY Catholic priest, who railed against our "sex-saturated society," busted for having an affair with a married woman And my best for last: Some awesome Einstein Quotes! Have a great Thursady all...! Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Post 560 Back to work.. wishing I had the rest of the week off! I need a vacation.... it's bad. There's 58 more days till our cruise, and I wish it were tomorrow. Work has been so busy, I at least need a long weekend, and our next one is September 5th. Ever feel that way? Like you just NEED an extra day to relax? Oh well..... Thanks for all the nice comments yesterday, and yes, michelle's husband is still in the hospital, so any warm thoughts/prayers would be appreciated. I have a new rant... people that refuse to turn the wheel on their cars much. I'm in the parking lot in work here Monday, and a lady backs up and moves forward 3 times, because she didn't want to turn the damn steering wheel! What's with that? Or, not long after that, driving down a street, a person pulls out of a driveway and instead of turning the damn wheel, they pull almost completely in my lane because they don't want to turn the wheel! (when they never needed to be in my lane at all) Other than that, not much going on.. looking like a nice day out. Oh, if you want tos ee what the weather looks like here, Here's the "Hartford Haze=Cam". When it's clear, you could just about see where I work. On to the news: Officials question how stupid criminals can be as prison inmate swallows fork -- and sues ABC to bring back Kolchak, The Night Stalker. How many of you remember the original? Starred Darren McGavin I believe. NASA adds Bangor International Airport to list of shuttle landing sites in case any of the astronauts becomes a drunk and unruly passenger or shows up on a terror watch list And now for my Canadian Friends: Dad learns two big lessons: First, don't trust your son with a shotgun, and second, people in Winnipeg love their beer more than they fear your kid with a shotgun Yankees fan falls from the upperdeck behind homeplate, says he was just imitating the Yankees season (w/ pic) Someone with WAY too much time on his hands creates computer case out of cooling fans! That's it for today... enjoy your day! Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Post 559 Sorry I'm late, home sick Yep, I'm sitting at home, writing this from the couch with my notebook PC. Didn't feel well this morning, so I decided to stay home. Of course, my mother called at 9am while I was sleeping so nicely to find one of the kids (who were also still sleeping). Welcome to Kaci, a new reader whose husband is PorterSR, serving in Iraq right now. Thank goodness our shuttle is down safely! I'm still curious as to why they landed in the dark. Not much on the personal front this morning, more tomorrow... so lets move on to the news: California creating zero-energy houses. Amish tap foot and wonder what all the hubbub's about Woman leaves son at McDonald's for throwing a tantrum over a Happy Meal Man comes home to find cop car in driveway, officer in bedroom having sex with daughter and is confused about who to call to report him (with pic) Videos of Discovery landing safely That's all for today... till tomorrow. Monday, August 08, 2005
Post 558 Another crummy Monday morning... While it was a wonderful weekend... I'm kinda not feeling well this morning. Hopefully it'll pass. I got up this morning and went right to the TV to see if the shuttle landed safely.. but alas, they're waiting till tomorrow now. I wonder why it's so early in the morning? Is it even light at 5am or earlier in Florida? Are they landing in the dark? I think it was quite amazing that everyone jumped in to help when the Russian sub was stuck on the bottom of the ocean. British, Japanese and US people and equipment rushed to the scene, and it was the British submersible that cut away what was pinning the small sub down. Saturday night the wife and I, and Ray and Debbie went down to a car show/cruise night with my Vette and Ray's Cobra in Newington, at Krispy Kreme (about 1/4 mile from Aaron's house). There were at least 60+ cars there, it was a beautiful night, and we all had a great time. I can't believe, "Mr. Sweet Tooth" Ray had never had a Krispy Kreme donut! *L* Well, his wife got him one and just like everyone else, he was shocked how good they were. I'm also surprised that a donut shop has about 80 parking spaces! The Dunkin Donuts place near where I live may have 15 spots.. *chuckling* Sunday, went to see mom and dad.. he's still doing well. Not much more to report actually. This was probably the 9th or 10th gorgeous weekend since early spring. Seems the week's are messy, and the weekends lately have been always perfect. You won't hear me complaining! And now, on to the news: NASA develops real life Tricorder with retro 50's styling Here's a unique job: Mohamad Abdul Hamid boasts his ability to do three chicks every two minutes Now here's something we all need: How to make a crossbow out of office supplies! I absolutely love this story (read all 3 pages, it's worth it) First there were yachts, then Superyacht's, then Megayachts.. now, GigaYachts! That's it for today... enjoy your Monday Friday, August 05, 2005
Post 557 TGIF, and another gorgeous weekend coming! It was said on our local tv station a few nights ago, that last year, we only had 6 days over 90 degrees. Now while this is abnormally low, this year, we've had 20 already! More than 3 times last year! Today may be the last one for a few days as a cold front is coming through in time to give us a great weekend. Oh, and I forgot to mention how my wife sprained her ankle on Wednesday night. Poor thing is hobbling around. I tried to tell her to take a day off of work and rest it... but noooooooooooooooo! No big plans for the weekend... just R&R I hope! My daughter got accepted at Walden College to continue on towards her Masters degree. It'll be a "distance learning" thing, basically meaning it'll be all internet based so she can do it at home. Sounds like a great thing. BUT... have you ever noticed, Doonsbury (the comic strip) always harps on Walden? *laughing* Oh well... on to the news: European Union cracking down on barmaids who show too much boobie. Officials claim they run the risk of skin cancer when they go outside to collect used beer glasses Fearing boredom during retirement, man builds treehouse with electricity, water, cable TV, rooftop patio, built-in cabinets, a wet bar and a 65-foot-long drawbridge connecting it to his home (w/pics) And here's a cat story, for Karen: Fiesty cat faces stand-off with alligator while cat's owner runs inside to call for help This is a good one: Taxachusetts airport bureaucrats try to pull the plug on Continental's free WiFi, say it's a threat to security, unlike the airport's own $7.95/day WiFi And now... My BOTD's! And One more... just 'cuz! Have a great weekend all! Thursday, August 04, 2005
Post 556 I can't wait for the weekend... While most busy weeks I'm happy about... this week is beyond busy, it's downright frantic. Ever been so busy, you feel like you're in a fog?? That's how work's been this week. Dad did well at the doctors yesterday... in 6 weeks, he's gained about 11 pounds. They're going to start talking soon about when to perform some pretty major surgery. Other than that, my thoughts go out to michelle's husband Fred, who's in the hospital with some pretty serious problems. Well, work calls early this morning so I have to cut this short... on to the news: The coolest pic you'll see today (and your new desktop wallpaper): The Lagoon Nebula Man receives bank debit card bearing name "Dick Head." "The name is Dumas" Car wash feels the heat after advert claims they "give the best handjob in town" Police officer decides to clear shotgun by aiming it at ground and fire. Partner is dismayed to discover that shotgun pellets bounce right back up off concrete On to work... have a great Thursday! Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Post 555 Another Hump-Day...! Yep, this week's FLYING by.. mostly because I'm just so horribly busy in work. 65 more days till our cruise! Whoo hoo.... I can't wait. Is it me, or did the hurricanes down in the Caribbean start with a bang, and kinda fizzle out? Last year, it seems like they were every other week or more that there were BIG ones. By the way, if you want to watch live, streaming video of the Shuttle and Space Station, Click here and choose the player you want to use. I got to admit, I like watching that stuff. Picked up my daughter last night from the airport... she had a great time in Florida, but she's glad to be back home (and so are we!) Porter, please know if I use your name in the news part, it's just kidding around. Never would I think you'd do that. And I do think of you when I see headlines on CNN like this that just appeared: "Fourteen U.S. Marines and a civilian interpreter killed today in attack south of Haditha, Iraq, U.S. military says. Details soon" Well, on to the news as I need some smiles: Bat flies into car, bites woman. Waiting to see if she turns into superhero or vampire Woman pursues Ph.D. in air guitar. Sometimes these things just write themselves! And this one... I'll post all the text here cause it's small: Scots bicker over birthplace of 'Scotty' Star Trek geekdom is spiraling out of control in Scotland where four towns are warring over the birthplace of the fictional Enterprise engineer, Scotty. The row erupted after the recent death of actor James Doohan (don't tell the Scots, but he was Canadian) who portrayed Montgomery Scott in the U.S. TV cult classic. Aberdeen, Linlithgow, Elgin and Edinburgh all claim to be Scotty's birthplace -- regardless of the fact Scotty's true birthplace was the head of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, the Edinburgh Scotsman reported. Nonetheless, city officials and Trekkies in all four towns have proof backing up their claims and each has plans to erect a memorial Scotty as portrayed by -- dare we say -- a Canadian. (Dave again here, everyone know, Scotty (the character) was from Aberdeen.. from an early episode where Scotty is in a pub, and tells Kirk "Nobody has to tell an old Aberdeen pub-crawler how to applaud") Have a great day all...! Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Post 554 Here comes the HHH weather again! Yep, we're getting back in the mid to high 90's, with high humidity this week. I think this summer will go on record as one of the hottest to date. (Yes Porter, I know it's hot in Iraq too...) This afternoon I pick my daughter up at the airport on her trip back from Florida! We always miss her when she's gone.... she's such a great young lady. Well, the shuttle crew are going to do a "first", spacewalk to repair some tiles on the bottom of the spacecraft. Lets hope they come back safe and sound. Did anyone catch the obscure story of a new planet found in our solar system? It's bigger than Pluto too. Well, not much more to report today.. so on to the news: In news of the extreme bizarre: Burt Reynolds says he and Willie Nelson would have made great gay lovers. Willie makes mental note not to get high with Burt Reynolds Hey Porter, did you hear about this? Army sergeant, 25, awarded "sheik" status by Iraqi village And don't let this happen to you bud! Army specialist posts classified information on his blog. Current mood: Demoted Oh, now this is good... Teens having a blast this summer.... at "Explosives Camp". What could possibly go wrong? And in Redneck news: Almost half of West Virginians have lost six or more teeth to decay or gum disease, as has 38 percent of peeps in Kentucky Yo, Bubba. How many teeth y'all got? Wow, gotta see this video Onboard camera captures bird being sucked into jet engine, apparent safe ejection of pilot, apparent total demolition of fighter jet And that's all for today... enjoy your day all! Monday, August 01, 2005
Post 553 I need a 3 day weekend... or more! Yeah, these weekends seem to go by WAY too quickly lately *frown* Did any of you (that don't live in Connecticut) hear about the awful 20 car accident out here on Friday? It's about 4 miles from where I work and it was one of the most horrible I've ever seen in my life. It was on CNN, and all the major news networks on Friday. Friday night, my wife and I, Ray and Debbie went to a nice "cruise night" in Torrington, about 12 miles from my house, Ray with his Cobra and me with the Vette.. and had a great time. Ray even won a 4-pack of Armor All products without doing a thing! *LOL* He even may have had someone interested in buying his car. We'll see. Saturday and Sunday were nice.. and we did normal weekend stuff including a few nightly rides. Dad's got a doctors appointment this week.. so keep your fingers crossed! Here's a couple of jokes to help you smile on this Monday morning: During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines whether a patient should be institutionalized or not. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub with water, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the water out of the tub." Okay, here's your test: 1. Would you use the spoon? 2. Would you use the teacup? 3. Would you use the bucket? "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket since it is larger than the teacup or spoon." "No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull out the stopper." So how did you do? I've been committed - have a good day! The Engineer A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers ahead of them. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us, they're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free any time." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" And now, the news: Cruise-ship passengers on their way to Bermuda unhappy when they arrive in Canada One of the COOLEST optical Illusions you'll see this week! Man dismayed to discover that his 2-year old daughter bought a $245,000 limo on eBay Some AWESOME murals that are 3-D! That's it for today... I'm up to my armpits in alligators! |